The spinlock is back from the day when connabels did not have
a fixed size and reallocation had to be supported.

Remove it.  This change also allows to call the helpers from
softirq or timers without deadlocks.

Also add WARN()s to catch refcounting imbalances.
Signed-off-by: Florian Westphal <fw@strlen.de>
Signed-off-by: Pablo Neira Ayuso <pablo@netfilter.org>