Allow customising of queries used for `update_column_in_batches`

This MR makes two changes to `add_column_with_default` and `update_column_in_batches`:

1. `add_column_with_default` no longer wraps the entire set of updates in a single transaction, preventing any locks from sticking around for the duration of the entire transaction
2. `update_column_in_batches` now takes a block which can be used to customise the queries. This uses Arel as messing with raw SQL strings is a total pain

In !4381 there's a need for updating existing rows/columns in a table in batches using a custom `WHERE` condition. Without the changes in this MR this would not be possible.

See merge request !4680