Problem was that notify_shared_lock() didn't abort an insert delayed thread
if it was in thr_upgrade_write_delay_lock().

ALTER TABLE first takes a weak_mdl_lock, then a thr_lock and then tries to upgrade
the mdl_lock.
Delayed insert thread first takes a mdl lock followed by a
thr_upgrade_write_delay_lock()
This caused insert delay to wait for alter table in thr_lock, while
alter table was waiting for the mdl lock by insert delay.

Fixed by telling mdl to run thr_lock_abort() for the insert delay thread table.
We also set thd->mysys_var->abort to 1 for the delay thread when it's killed
by alter table to ensure it doesn't ever get locked in thr_lock.