Restore code to make InnoDB choose the second transaction as a deadlock
victim if two transactions deadlock that need to commit in-order for
parallel replication. This code was erroneously removed when VATS was
implemented in InnoDB.

Also add a test case for InnoDB choosing the right deadlock victim.
Also fixes this bug, with testcase that reliably reproduces:

MDEV-28776: rpl.rpl_mark_optimize_tbl_ddl fails with timeout on sync_with_master

Note: This should be null-merged to 10.6, as a different fix is needed
there due to InnoDB locking code changes.
Signed-off-by: Kristian Nielsen <knielsen@knielsen-hq.org>